2011 Headline Contest
June 12th, 2006This week is the launch of the official SHOOTING WAR 2011 HEADLINE CONTEST. What does the future hold? Yes, you’ll be older and fatter. But what about world politics? Submit your headlines from five years from now here. The winning entry will be incorporated into an upcoming chapter. The winner will get a DVD of BattleGround: 21 Days on the Empire’s Edge, the award-winning documentary I produced with my partner from the Guerrilla News Network Stephen Marshall.
Check out this great write-up we got in this week’s Village Voice. Also of note, is an excellent piece by Joe Gordon on the Forbidden Planet International‘s blog. They both really got it.
June 12th, 2006 at 5:13 pm
“Firefox reaches 87% of market share, Microsoft throws in the IE towel”
June 12th, 2006 at 5:33 pm
“Veterans’ Benefits Dry Up As Deficit Forces Congress to Make Cuts Across the Board”
Hint: this relates to Chapter 6.
June 12th, 2006 at 6:15 pm
“More soilder die from lack of supplies, Fuel companies may be to blame.”
June 12th, 2006 at 6:20 pm
“Sunni and Shiite Agree to Disban Isurgency – American Troops Heading Home”
June 12th, 2006 at 8:19 pm
How about? “Most Wanted: War-Weary Sunnis.” Wait, that was from this Sunday’s Times.
June 13th, 2006 at 5:11 am
“Interest rate crisis as fuel supply chain wavers”
“Thames Barrier breaks, London floods – Global Warming blamed”
“Americans protest against internet censorship”
“South Africa World Cup brought unexpected benefits, crime rate falls”
“Venezuela, Brazil announce fuel trade agreement, strengthen South America trade zone”
June 13th, 2006 at 10:21 am
Gore gets 5 to 10 for Subversion
June 13th, 2006 at 10:40 am
IRAN Invades Northern Iraq
June 13th, 2006 at 11:13 am
“Chinese Sciencists say they maintain a 5 minute Nuclear Fusion Reaction”
“Five Suicide Bombers detonate themselves at King Charles’s Coronation killing 230 people amongst the crowd in front of Buckingham Palace”
“Sub-Comandante Marcos of the Zapatistas is elected President of Mexico, has yet to confirm his plans to withdraw from NAFTA, and seek to integrate Mexico into the Latin American Economic and Political Union Agreement”
“Google buys 40% of the ailing Microsoft stock, mirroring a move made by Microsoft for Apple in the early 00′s”
June 13th, 2006 at 11:47 am
“Vatican sex scandal: sleaze went straight to the top, says supergrass nun”
“Compulsory Assault Weapons Possession Bill passes Senate triumphantly”
“Gov. Cindy Sheehan’s latest: Adolf Hitler was a true man of peace, shame on the warmongers Roosevelt and Churchill”
“The O’Reilly controversy: fans outraged, latest Fox recording prove he did really say, perhaps nuking Switzerland for being neutral would be too much”
June 13th, 2006 at 11:51 am
“Collapse of Social Security! – AARP files single largest class action suit in history”
“Prince Harry Killed – British Royal succumbs to radiation poisoning while aiding Indo-Pakistani nuclear survivors.”
“Cheney Arrested at last! Fugutive ex Veep is at last collared in Buenos Aires, jailed for conviction in Halliburton scandal.” : )
“88% – Steve Jobs retires, for the 3rd time, in the glow of his company’s sucess.”
I’d like to add my voice to the chorus of folks who think Shooting War is awesome. Huzzah!
June 13th, 2006 at 2:13 pm
This are getting good. The Prince Harry one is imaginative. Keep them coming.
June 13th, 2006 at 7:49 pm
First Balochistan parliament inaugerated. Pakistani PM Bhutto issues no comment.
Maddox Jolie crashes go-cart into mansion, injures Shiloh
Sen. Obama announces he will run for President
June 13th, 2006 at 9:34 pm
Stem cell reasearch pays off, group of patients cured of diabetes in one injection.
Star wars episode 9 floops in the box office.
Clay Aiken arrested in gay prostitution scandle.
Trillionaire Bill Gates and Linus Torvid officaly annouces plans for a collaborative project, geeks world wide rejoice.
Country tightens belt as gas prices top $13 a gallon.
Hueh Heffner’s funeral draws record crowd, early estamites around 3 million.
Hurrican Zeta floods most of southern Florida, scientist blame global warming, government disagrees.
Radical Christan group bombs 7th gay wedding, government still slow to do anything.
June 13th, 2006 at 10:01 pm
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder best treated with sedation study says
Turkey rejects UN offer of troops
KFC sued for serving cloned meat
Third Mutant Strain of HIV discovered
June 14th, 2006 at 2:02 pm
States ratify Hatch amendment: Schwarzenegger poised for Presidency
Robotic combat sytems sales hits $1b: Record profits for QinetiQ
Pentagon admits to weather modification test-phase
Three’s company: US, Russia, China form G-3
Future Force Warrior tech. deployed with USMC to Peru for peace-keeping mission
June 14th, 2006 at 6:13 pm
hey 00011, nice stuff! you sure you haven’t written comix?
June 14th, 2006 at 8:36 pm
“Troops to Leave Iraq in Six Months…. Again”
“ANOTHER Alternative Fuel Source Squashed by Big Oil”
“Emperor Bush survives yet another assassination attempt.”
“Department of Homeland Security’s Time Table. When will they be at your home to update it’s security features?”
June 16th, 2006 at 10:14 am
President McCain says successful election means we are turning a corner in Iraq.
US Congress passes resolution banning flag burning and makes pledge of allegiance compulsory. ACLU plans to challenge ruling in court.
Canadian renewable energy usage tops 70%. Senator Gingrich labels the Canadian energy program socialism and says it wouldn’t work for America.
China begins selling treasury bills and buying Euros. Stock market reaction is mixed.
Wal-Mart to provide housing for employees in exchange for wage cut.
Embattled GM closing last American factory, cites rising healthcare costs and declining global SUV sales.
UN Secretary Tony Blair says the world community must not abandon Iraq, but must work with the Americans to help stabilize the region.
Florida residents suffering from Hurricane fatigue as Harriet bears down.
Liz Cheney to take the helm at Kellog Brown and Root.
Kellog Brown and Root wins no-bid contract to provide lunches in American schools.
June 16th, 2006 at 10:50 am
Nice Moe
June 16th, 2006 at 12:58 pm
Thanks, Dan. Never considered it before. Hmmm…
Here’s a few more:
Chinese GDP hits $12 trillion
Border dispute erupts between Angola and Zaire over oil-drilling-rights
IBM-Almaden predicts new microprocessor-human-nerve interface will revolutionize industry
Wall Street melt-down result of sophisticated attack; high energy radio frequency (HERF) wave suspected
Japan dumps bonds in wake of US inaction over Chinese occupation of Spratly Islands; recession anticipated
June 16th, 2006 at 3:36 pm
After the bombing of the Bush Institute for Caring Christian Conservatism Texas seals borders with rest of US, declares new Republic – damn straight
World water shortages push rainy Scotland to superpower status – thousands of refugees flee parched south of England for the lochs
Civil list funding ends, Royal Family consider floating themselves on the London Stock Exchange
Tim Burton announces jolly musical to lift the nation’s spirits
Bugs Bunny runs for governor of California
Senator Manson sponsors the Goth equality act
Southeast Asia uses millions of impounded pirate DVDs as mirrors to reflect sunlight back into space, reduce global warming
June 18th, 2006 at 11:43 am
Hey, just found out about this comic through Alternet, and I am hooked. This is Robert Sterling from The Konformist, and I was the first guy ever interviewed by GNN for one of your videos. (I think shooting an Eminem video was a step up on the status-meter over myself, though.) Anyway, here’s some headlines I’ve come up with, and would love to hear from you and the GNN crew again soon…
US Uses Lite Nukes In Indonesia: Tastes Like Hiroshima, But Half the Calories!
Ashley Bush Wins American Idol: Diebold Dismisses Electronic Voting Controversy After Finale
State Sec Newt to France: Eat Quiche & Die!
Gov Mary Carey On Immigration: Mexicans Are Great in Bed!
And, of course:
Axl Declares: Chinese Democracy Almost Done, Early 2012 Release Planned
June 18th, 2006 at 5:16 pm
US Attorney Gen. William E. Lawler, III insists that work details reduce depression for thousands of detainees
Market goes ‘nanas for nano: Zyvex Corp.’s shares up 837% within hours of successful Atomically Precised Manufacturing Assembler (APMA) demonstration
Harvest Moon: Halliburton and Fluor announce strategic partnership with DOE for lunar mining of helium-3
In GOD we trust: US Defense Sec. Robert J. Stevens assures Global Orbit Defender (GOD) platform will be fully operational by 2012 deadline
Raytheon whistleblower and attorney found dead: Evidence of secret US Antarctic Command (USANTCOM) and thawed ‘ancient ruins’ missing; Congressional inquiry postponed
June 18th, 2006 at 6:49 pm
“‘American Porn Star’ Another Ratings Hit for Fox’”
“Supreme Court Allows Repeal of Fourth Amendment to Proceed”
“Baseball Commissioner George W. Bush to Publish Memoirs on MySpace”
June 19th, 2006 at 9:19 am
“Poised to retake Senate, House in 2014 say Dems”
“Clinton Paternity Trial Enters 20th Week”
“Oprah hits 600lbs, Stedman dismayed, say sources.”
“Nick and Jessica set for third divorce, reunion.”
June 19th, 2006 at 10:35 am
Scientific community stunned as South Korean scientist announces that a genetically reengineered transvestite (GRT) has given birth and is lactating normally.
Tom Cruise hospitalized after self immolation.
June 19th, 2006 at 2:42 pm
“Putin to Chechnyan People: Drop Dead”
“K-Fed on Spears’ arrest: ‘Britney’s Out of Control!’”
“Michael Bay’s ‘Watchmen’ No.1 at Box Office for Sixth Week”
“China, Taiwan Will Reunify by End of Decade, Jintao Says”
June 19th, 2006 at 6:07 pm
Roe V. Wade aborted.
June 19th, 2006 at 10:46 pm
Thanks Robert. Good to hear from you. You can see Sterling in one of GNN’s first videos here: http://gnn.tv/videos/6/GNN_Profile_Robert_Sterling
June 27th, 2006 at 2:37 pm
Russia on verge of civil war after Putin disbands congress
Toyota’s takeover of Ford approved by SEC, despite loud complaints from Ford family
Japan succesfully tests first nuclear device. Prime minister applauds acheivement as major step for defense of nation
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